Patty said, "We'll just have to keep going for now.  One of the Special Police can wait for them to come in while we do the helicopter tour.  Then we'll see how it goes."

Upon arrival all the piggies and friends were given flower lei necklaces, which they all wanted to eat right away. Whe had picked non-poisonous flowers just in case, so many of the lei didn't last very long. 

Everyone was asked to split up in three groups. One group went with Speedie to the parking lot and the Harley Davidson motorcycles awaiting them. The others went with Patty & Tasha to the two limousines.

Transportation

Speedie guided them through check-out procedures with a nice human called Gary. Diva, Reggie, Smooch and Sissy had twin 2000 Black Softtail Deuces.  Reggie said, "Sissy! They feel so smooth - all over! I bet they're real shiny."  "And the seats feel so comfortable too!" said Sissy. 

Harriet, Sable, Little Bit and Daisy took a Black Trike.  Countess Aurora envied Elvis and Tatortot's cherry red 2000 Road King, but was pleased with the lovely yellow 2000 Wide Glide Custom she would share with Calliope later.  When Elvis saw the bike he said, "Oh yeah! Cool! Just my style! Hey Tators, what da' 'ya think?"  "I think it's VERY nice honey, perfect for the King! I hope the jostling doesn't bring the babies on though. Well actually, it might be nice - I'm feeling rather full now." 

Riley and Indy happily climbed on their green and blue mopeds, while Zorro and Boo took a fine Black Heritage Softtail.  "Just my color!" declared Zorro gleefully.  Angelina and Nokomis liked their red Wide Glide so much, they wanted to buy it (not an option, unfortunately).  Speedie told them there was a two year waiting list for new Harleys, even on the mainland. 

Guiness took a black 2000 Sportster, Skittles a black Buell Blast, Tenjin and Kokopelli a red 2000 Fatboy with a sidecar and another 2000 Fatboy with a sidecar for Chesapeake and Viola.  "Ooh!  It's green, Ches, just like lettuce!" wheeked Viola. This left one cycle for Teddy and Speedie.  "What do say I ride with you?" Speedie said, winking.   Teddy blushed a little, then smiled a big smile.  "That'd be mighty fine with me!"

The group following Patty & Tasha were quite taken with the luxurious limousines.  Pandora cried, "Wow! Now I understand why they call these things stretch limos!" "Yeah, I wonder where they park these things," said Peewee. Despite all the space, piggy toes were stepped on as they all tried to get in at once.  The interior matched Patty's dress. Once the salad bars were discovered next to the seats, a great wheeking and jostling arose from both limos.  This kept them occupied until the cyclists pulled up alongside.

Some noticed a ferris wheel and other rides a short distance away.  "Oh, I forgot the Kauai County Fair is happening this weekend!" said Patty.  "A fair?  Like, with food and prizes for biggest vegetable?" chorused Bubbles and Squiggy.  "Well, yes, but right now we have a couple of helicopters waiting for us," Speedie reminded them.  "Maybe we could stop back here after the seals, on our way to the gardens."

Tatortot reminded them of her delicate condition, "I'm sorry, I'm just afraid of heights.  Could I be excused?"  Elvis felt guilty about leaving his wife at that time, but he really had his heart set on the view from a copter.   Venus of the GPSP volunteered to take her to the fair while the rest went on their ride. Then they could be on hand to meet the latecomers at the airport.

Helicopter Tour

Waiting for them at the heliport were a laughing Tatortot, vigilant Venus and the late-waking piggies.  Tatortot proudly showed a blue ribbon to her huspig, "Look, honey, I won for best-looking cavy!"  She's also picked up snacks for the ride to Poipu.  Meantime, Harrison Ford was chatting with one of the helicopter pilots.  The late group opted to do a short version of the tour, then catch up with everyone else at Poipu. 

The helicopter tours were fabulous, whe really could see how vast and varied such a tiny island can be.  Whe flew really close to one of the two wettest spots in the world, and in Waimea Canyon which is very dry (except for the water running through the middle).  Whe also flew in beautiful valleys and by huge waterfalls with pools of water below.  Several of us took photos and we've sent them in for developing. 

Seals and Poipu Beach

The weather was perfect at the beach-bright and sunny but not over hot.  The eager crew gathered in the parking lot.  Gwennie-Fred and Hillary checked their film.  Harley and Creature gently cleaned the lenses on their field glasses.  Zoom lenses were being put on other cameras all around.  Patty and Speedie led everyone across a grassy space past the early sunbathers.  But as they approached the barrier for a good view, they found a busy crowd of humans with heavy equipment.  A documentary film crew was at working recording every movement of the monk seals on the other side and totally obscuring the view for the piggies and their friends.  Speedie tried to have a talk with them, "Whe've been planning this for wheeks!  Many piggies came from other countries to see this!"

"Well, our film is going to let many more see the seals, too," said the director.  "And it will bring in the resources to help these animals."  Speedie turned away in frustration, "I'm doing something about this!"  Patty nervously said she'd try to make some phone calls from the limo to clear things up.

This left Tasha trying to read her little lecture notes to the remaining group.  "Um, the Hawaiian name for the monk seal is 'Ilio-holo-i-ka-uaua,' meaning 'Dog running in rough waters.'"  Zeus, Clover, and Sheridan pricked up their ears.  "And, uh, this baby seal is number 13 out of 14 monk seals living on Kauai."  A great murmur arose from the group.  "Only 14?  I thought there were about 1,500 alive.  Where are the others?" asked Einstein.  Tasha wasn't sure.

Just then a commotion was heard further down towards the water.  A cameraman jerked back from his viewer.  "The baby seal just took off with a guinea pig in his mouth!"  All humans turned to look at the tour group.  Tasha whirled around and called to the returning Patty, "NOSE COUNT!  Button, Peewee, Chesapeake, Viola. . . Hey, Mo!  Where's Harley?"

Mo, holding a tripod and other equipment for her huspig, pointed beyond the barrier.  "He went with Speedie and some others to get a better view."  Among the missing were half-blind Brandy Creature, the royal trio, Skittles, Arthur, Gwennie-Fred & Hillary, and Riley.  "But they were supposed to stay 100 feet away!" groaned Patty.  Mo lifted her hind paw, "Oh, they will!  But one hundred of these brings you much closer to the seals than this barrier!"

Lily tugged on the socks of the cameraman & asked to see through his lens.  "That's a baby seal?  He's pretty big by now!  I think that's Riley in his mouth," she called.  "He's still taking pictures, too!"  Zeus and Scooter were on their GPSP walkie-talkies all this time, Zeus already making his way toward the remaining shutter bug pigs to check on them.  The remaining crowd worked their way between the feet of the film crew for a better view.

"The mama seal is going into the water, and the baby is following her!" called Muffin.  The cameraman shouted, "Shark!"  Indeed, a shark fin had appeared in the water, following the two seals and Riley, still taking pictures.  Benjamin and Scooter conferred with Britney about possible emergency medical plans.

Suddenly a whooping sound came up from behind.  The piggies looked up to see the tour helicopter heading their way.  As they passed overhead, they could see Venus on her GPSP walkie-talkie, pointing to the water and directing Harrison Ford, who sat in the pilot's lap, working the controls.  A rope ladder descended from the copter as they flew over the water.  One-Eared Jenkins hung from the bottom, cutlass in hand.  ("How did he get that through the airport?" asked Tasha.)  Calliope and Pepper secured things for him above. "Hey!  I'm out of film!" yelled the cameraman.

Jenkins gave the shark a mighty whack with his cutlass.  The shark circled in confusion, one eye to the surface.  A guinea pig?  He took off for the open sea to think that one over.  The 'copter flew over the seals, and Jenkins, hanging by his hind paws with his blade in his mouth, retried the hapless Riley, who had also run out of film by this time.  The seals swam on, unmolested.

Benjamin and Scooter cleared out the sunbathers from the grassy area so that the 'copter could land.  Zeus herded the errant shutter bug pigs back to the main group.  Britney and graduates of the first-aid course hurried up to the copter after it landed and ministered to the breathless but unharmed Riley. "He-- he wa asking his mother if he could keep me as a pet!" gasped the photopig, collapsing back into Britney's arms.

Patty & Tasha rounded on Speedie, "You're supposed to know better!" Speedie stubbornly insisted that it was her duty to get the piggies a good view. Zeus, Venus, Scooter and Benjamin joined them protectively as they were approached by the film director.  "Are we going to get a ticket?" asked Tasha.  But it turned out the director just wanted copies of everyone's photos and Arthur video footage, to make up for what was lost on her film.  "We'll make sure this is cleared up with the authorities," she assured them.  The deal was struck.  "As long as we get the originals back!" called Queen Penumbra, imperiously.

After everything was settled, whe returned to our land transportation and proceeded to the farm and garden tour.  Tasha, Patty & Speedie took another nose count, "Muffin, Clover, Speckles, Mimi. . . Hey, Speedie!  Where's Skittles!  His Buell is still here!"  Skittles himself appeared, dripping wet in flippers and mask, with his underwater camera in paw.  "Cool!  You should've seen the expression on the shark's face when Jenkins went after him!" 

Finally settled again, the caravan took off for the North Shore for the Farm and Garden Tours.

On our way North, whe stopped at an organic garden up in the hills of Kapaa.  Speedie said that her slaves had created that garden a long time ago, and it used to be a larger organic farm.  There were lots of fruit trees, and many perennial vegetables they had planted still there.  The humans that lived there now were very nice and let us sample whatever whe wanted - straight out of the garden! 

Tenjin asked, "What's that big round thing with the cone shaped thing on top, all covered with canvas?"  Patty told him it's a yurt, a portable building originally designed in Mongolia.  Speedie said, "That's right, but this one isn't portable anymore - it's really fastened down.  It is the first yurt on-island to obtain a permanent building permit and people live there."  Everypiggie took a peek inside and saw that it had a kitchen, bathroom, closets, two bedrooms and a living room with lots of light from the skylight at the top. Patty said that her slaves had helped the owners put that yurt up a few years before they started the farm. 

Our next stop was a garden in Anahola, up by the mountain.  The woman who gardens there said that she fertilizes and enriches her soil with the silty soil that flows onto the streets after a flood (in areas that flood).  She fills up the back of her pick-up with the rich soil and puts it in her garden.  She also showed up her sprout house - a house just for growing her sprouts.  She said that she and her 7 children eat mainly out of her garden, fresh.  She likes to eat 'living foods' - fresh, raw vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds and sprouts.  Dolly said, "Wow!  Just like us!"  She had lots of good yummies for everyone and even gave us some coconuts for later. 

Whe all then went farther north and stopped at an organic farm in Moloa'a - across from the dairy.  This farm was bigger than the other one - it was on about 12 or 13 acres, but only about a third of it was in cultivation.  It was drier there than in Kapaa.  Boo said, "I thought it was supposed to be wetter as you go north here."  "In general, that's true," said Speedie, "but there are little pockets here and there where the weather is quite different than, say a mile or two away." Patty said, "Yeah, in Kilauea there are places that get over 120 inches of rain a year only blocks away from areas that only get half that much."  Tasha said, "Oh yes, I remember reading about how on the east and north sides of the island it rains more and more the closer you get to the mountains." Guinnie Fred said, "Ooh!  Look!  Cucumbers!"  The woman that owned the farm said, "Go ahead, help yourselves!  But try to share, unless you think you can eat a whole one on your own."  Much munching and wheeking was heard.

Next whe were off to the Kilauea area.  The first one was even bigger than the last one.  The people at this farm were using almost all of the land, in crops, cover crops or wind breaks for 'ally' cropping - rows of windbreak/mulch plans in-between several rows of other crops.  Patty said it was too bad they didn't have their produce bus and stand anymore - it had lots of great stuff from farmers and gardeners from all around.  Whe toured the farm and got to eat some of the baby greens and lettuces they used for their salad mix and taste lots of the dressings they bottle and sell nation wide.

After that, whe visited a farm/garden that had a screen house for growing tomatoes and melons.  Charlie Girl asked, "Why do they grow them in the screen house and not out with the rest?"  Speedie said it was because Kauai has fruit flies that 'sting' certain fruit and lay eggs in them - especially in the hotter months.  It ruins it for people to eat.  The screen keeps the flies out.  Miracle said, "Oh, that must be why they had net bags over some of the cucumbers at that other farm."  On the tour, whe were shown where they grow their baby plants before planting them.  Cinnamon said, "It looks like just PVC pipe all bent over and covered with clear plastic sheeting."  "That's right, except sometimes they put up shade cloth in areas as needed.  Happiness said, "Hey, what's in there?" They all went into the building next to the baby plants and discovered lots of bags of produce sitting on tables with people's names on them.  Tasha asked, "Do they do community supported agriculture here too?  My slave has shares at an organic farm at home and helps with the work."  Patty said that this farm does it a little differently - people 'order' a certain amount of produce on a regular basis and the farmers fill those orders and substitute things when needed.  People come and pick up their produce every wheek.

There were lots of other farms, but whe didn't have enough time to visit them all.  The last farm/garden whe visited looked different, almost like it was wild, or natural.  The man who ran that one said it was done organically, following Permaculture principals.  He said that the goal is to grows plants useful to humans and animals that interact and help each other in a way similar to what nature does with it's plants.  The plants are planted together in 'guilds', or groups that do well together.  "It's like companion planting taken farther.  It not only combines them side by side, but vertically and through time"  said Patty.  Speedie said, "Some plants shade and protect the others, while getting the sun and soil cover they need. Other plants provide 'mulch' to cover and fertilize the earth at the base of others."  "That's right," the man said, "the idea is for every plant to have multiple uses - for the other plants and for humans (and the animals that live with them)."  "It's like an edible forest!" exclaimed Rocker. Masarati wheeked, "Let's eat some!" and whe did.

Beach

After the farm and garden tours, whe went to Patty and Speedie's favorite beach, called Kalihiwai, on the North Shore. It had a river, ocean, rocks, sand, trees and more. On the beach, before whe split up into various interest groups, Speedie took out her machete and opened up several of the gift coconuts. "It's a little sweet!" said Mysi.  "Yeah, and look at what's left - jelly-like white stuff.  That's different from the coconut I've seen before."  Patty said that Mysi was right - the white part, called 'meat', is called 'jelly meat' for just that reason.  Tasha said that in places where coconuts grow, people like to drink the fresh ones, and that the hard meat is from mature coconuts.  "With little or no bad tasting water," said Speedie.

Chrissy, Wheeker, Blossom, Frisky, Daisy, Charlie Girl and Sweetie simply plopped down in shady areas to sleep off their meal.  Toffee, Rocker, Snowball, Miracle, Dolly, Mysi, Cinnamon, Coffe, and Mysterious started digging happily in the sand, watched by her personal guard animals. Still other, including Millennium, Happiness, Maserati, and Excalibur, headed for the water to cool down.  They took turns on swinging on the rope swing into the river for a while, then went boogie boarding in the ocean.  Patty and Tasha settled down with Pookie,
Houdini, Reggie, Sissy & Smooch to do some crafts with palm fronds.  Tasha took musicians and hula dancers off to another side, trailed by Zorro, Boo and other interested boars.

Crafts  & Hula Lessons

Tasha led them through Lovely Hula Paws, which some remembered from their last Hawaiian Holiday.  The dancers all flopped down on their bellies after that. "I am too tired to do more!" declared Guiness, tummy still full from the brunch.  Genevieve called out, "Isn't there a sit-down version of the hula we could do?"  Gemini said, "Even better-- how about a lie-down version?" Chesapeake and Viola rolled back and forth on their bellies, alternating their waving front paws.  "Look, we're doing a seal hula!"

The musicians had been languidly jamming while the dancers rested.  Snowball found that switching from violin to steel guitar wasn't so hard.  Einstein and Smooch joined him on ukuleles while Guiness drummed.  Dolly' flute wove in and out of vocals by Nokomis and Calliope, and Button's bells punctuated the melodies.  They tried a new song:

 Ilio-holo-ika-uaua, 
 we're so glad you had your babies on the beach;
 Ilio-holo-ika-uaua, 
 we think the little pup's a real peach!"

Tasha tried again.  "I just thought-- cavies have a lot of fertility, right?" 
Tators, Lily Lu and Lolita Chulapa proudly patted their tummies.  "And it seems like the monk seals could use more, right?  So we could pass some of our fertility on to them, see?"  The others shrugged.  "Well, we could wish them well, anyway.  Like a birthday candle wish."  The musicians continued with a musical bridge:

We hope that you stay safe from the shark,
 Happy and healthy on the sand in the dark;
 Ilio-holo-i-ka-uaua, 
 we're so glad you had your babies on the beach!

Hayride and Dinner

During all the munching, some noticed another limo pull up to the entrance of the stables.  The documentary director from Poipu Beach stepped out and Patty went to talk to her.  She returned with everyone's processed photos and video.  "I have an announcement!" she called to the group, as Tasha and Speedie distributed these things to their owners.  "The film people have cleared our good name with the authorities, in view of the rescue performed by Harrison, Jenkins, Calliope, Pepper and Venus!"  A wheeking cheer went up.  "However," she continued, "some of us feel that there ought to be some sanction placed on those who broke the rules by getting too close to the seals."  Speedie turned in surprise.  Some of the older piggies nodded soberly in agreement; Brandy looked embarrassed. Sugar told Spice, Mouse & Wicket, "I KNEW something would come up again!"

Patty & Tasha called out names:  "Speedie, Gwennie-Fred, Hillary, Harley, Creature, Brandy, Skittles, Riley-- yes, you, too!  Queen Penumbra, Countesses Aurora and Nebula.  Could you all step forward, please?"  The guilty assembled before the rest.  "In light of your transgressions, we want you to hula for everyone now."  Tasha cued the musicians, who had been assembling behind her. Everyone broke out laughing.  Only Creature had practiced that afternoon, but everyone soon followed her lead in the seal hula.  The boars flopped down on their bellies and Speedie mimed a shark coming down over Riley's head.  The rest of the crowd joined them from where they danced.  Cameras flashed, Arthur ran his last tape.

d for a last nose count-- successful this time-- and returned to their limos and cycles to go back to Lihue for the flight to the Big Island.  Whe just barely made it to the gate in time for the last flight.  What a day!